Sunday, November 24, 2013

Sweet Girl

In the women's bathroom at our church, there is a small collection of "take if you can use" items. Just random things. This evening, Anna brought me a small bottle of eye makeup remover and said, "Mama, I got this from the bathroom at church. The sign said to take it if you can use it and I thought you would like it. At first I thought you might be upset with me for taking it, but the sign said to take it if you can use it. First I thought of Grandma, but I wasn't sure if she uses eye makeup. And I really thought you would like it." 
I'm realizing that Anna is going through growing pains. I don't know what else to attribute the changes in her to, other than just growing up a little. I'm also realizing, with much heartbreak, that I have focused far too much on her negative behavior and not nearly enough on her positive behavior. She craves my approval and words of praise. She soaks them up like a sun scorched sponge. Is she kind and loving most of the time these days? Not usually. Does she do at least one thing every day for which I can just lavish her with praise? Yes-sometimes I just have to look extra hard! She wrote on her wall, with pen, in her room. And when I read it I started crying. Not because she wrote on her wall with pen, but because of the words she wrote. It was something like "She loves horses and wants to live in the country. She has 5 friends. She is sweet and kind and loving and soft hearted. She is Anna Rose." I cried because I have spent too much time harping on her not being kind and loving to her brothers, on being hard-hearted about her behavior and not seeming to care about her actions and their consequences. She IS sweet and kind and loving and soft hearted! I just need to remember to dig for those qualities...every, single day. 

4 comments:

fletch-world said...

Ethan is going through the same growing pains. We focus so much on wanting to help him grow up "right" that we forget that sometimes he needs encouragement in the little things. He is also tender-hearted and I forget that my words often hurt him more then I know. Praying for you in this season.

Anonymous said...

and now i am crying...

Linda Borror said...

I understand every word. At times I struggled to find that something to brag about for my oldest. I realized very late that I was looking for good and pleasant things according to MY standards. All he wanted was a simple look of approval for anything. It mattered not what. I was too stingy with "thanks" "well done" - - - -I expected grand accomplishments - - - and completely missed the significant. It is a difficult job. Yes, very rewarding - - -but I missed too many rewards because I was not content with the simple.

I am not suggesting you miss anything---just sharing.

You will both survive - - -I know WHO you seek for guidance.

Blessings

Jennifer said...

Amy, thank you! It's a difficult season sometimes. I appreciate your prayers, and you have mine, as well.
Linda, I love your heart and how you constantly seek to encourage those around you. Thank you for sharing and encouraging!